Lol hi remember me

Hey lj.
It's been a while~

So I feel really bad for leaving for as long as I did. but I needed it, I guess. Here's what has happened since (i think) the last time I was here.

- I started 10th grade. It sucks. I hate everyone.
- My grandma died on September 16th. I cried at her funeral.
- I picked up my first box of matches. I still have a mark there.
- Me and Kyla stopped fighting. Which is a plus.
- My parents decided that I'm not allowed to listen to Warped Tour music.
- I spent an entire week trying to convince mom to let me see Falling In Reverse in Pittsburgh and, at the last fucking minute, she told me we had things to do.

And. I think that's it.

but seriously. I'm about to walk to boardman to live with justyne. I'm sick of the shit going on around here. If they don't give me room to grow and /figure out who the fuck I'm supposed to be/ then I'm gonna go 'grow' somewhere else.

The Internet thinks I'm Crazy

... or at least have a personality disorder.

Took a Personality Disorder test on the NYU website cause I was bored. And here were my results

Paranoid- Low
Schizoid- Low
Schizotypical- High
Antisocial- Low
borderline- Very High 
Histrionic- Average
Narcissistic- Average
Avoidant- Very High
Dependant- Very High
Obsessive Compulsive- Moderate

Love you too internet.

(no subject)

It's been a long few weeks and I'm gonna have to try to write this without crying.

I don't know if I've mentioned this or not, but my Grandpa died back in February or March after he had a lung removed.  And now, when my family has finally started to get back to normal, we found out my grandma's cancer is back. Except it's everywhere this time. It started out in her upper left thigh- she had trouble sitting on that side and sometimes it would hurt so much that she couldn't walk.  She couldn't sleep in her bed. 

Now, the cancer's progressed and it's in her brain now.  She can't open her right eye and it's starting to affect her speech.  She can't walk, either. The Hospice nurses say that after her party tomorrow (yes, even in such a state she insists on planning a party) that we're going to see a big change in her demeanor. As if the changes so far haven't been big enough.

My cousins are in town now, which doesn't make this situation any better. Scarlet's in a total state of denial, Garrett has no clue what's going on and my Aunt is just... crazy.  Scarlet even stormed out of Aunt Linda's house (where my grandma's living now) today and walked through the most dangerous neighborhood in Farrel all the way back to my grandmother's house. We didn't know where she was for two hours and I freaked out and spilled my guts to a guy I hardly talk to.

So today sort of sucked :\

(no subject)

It's been a long two days.

Yesterday (or maybe it was Wednesday idrk) I got a letter from People to People (who I went to DC with last year) inviting me to go to Europe next summer. Me being me, I got super pumped and got the itinerary and found out everyone else who I know who got the letter too. Dad was all grumpy about not wanting me to go to Europe but all of my aunts and uncles think I should go because they stay with a German family when they're in Freidburg (I believe) and they want me to learn German because that side of the family is German.

And today we moved Grandma into my Aunt Linda's house and Hospice was there and mom was very cranky. And when we were cleaning up at Grandma's I asked if I could take the boat I got for Grandpa when I was on Chincoteague Island and mom burst into tears and it was very awkward.

And just now dad talked to me and Cassie and he told us that mom's having trouble with coping with her grief and we can't be haggling her about things and I need to Just Forget About Europe I'll Never Go There Anyways and Cassie has to stop harassing me about being in love with Harry Potter (that child is the Petunia to my Lily) and we all need to get along and be nice so mom doesn't have a breakdown.

So I'm gonna sit here and whine about it on Livejournal cause if I put it on Facebook/Twitter/Tumblr people I know in reality will find out and that's not good.

Where I show how much of a teenager I really am

So I found a way to watch Harry Potter and get exercise at the same time which is wonderful and fun and stuff because I'm trying to lose a little bit of my pudge before I go back to school at the end of the month.

However, I realized today that in order to lose weigh I'll probably have to go down a bra size which means having to buy new bras which are really expensive. Plus I hate bra shopping.

So I'm like >_>

Also; If I read any more Drarry I'm going to have an aneurysm.

(no subject)

Title: Hate
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairings?: Tom Riddle/Murder
Tag Line: Tom never really liked the kids at his orphanage. But his hatred for Allison Black was the worst of it all.

Tom Marvolo Riddle never liked any of the children at Wool's Orphanage. They were whiny, snot-nosed and oh so very normal. He enjoyed tormenting them. Above all others, he enjoyed scaring Allison Black the most.

Allison was six when she was left at the Orphanage by her Aunt. The child, with her wild brown hair and deep green eyes, was everything Tom hated. She was full of life, excitement and seemingly the essence of innocence. Not only that, but she and Tom shared a birthday. Oh, Tom Riddle hated her. He swore that she would pay for whatever unjust thing she had done to him; that reason likely being her purely existing.

The summer between Tom's sixth and seventh year, he was given the perfect opportunity to off her for good. Mrs. Cole was taking them to the seaside.

Allison was wearing a powder blue dress. One of the younger girls had braided her hair and two large ribbons held the braid in place. She looked young, refreshed, happy. Tom hated it. He hated her. He wanted to get rid of her. She reminded him too much of Jane. Free spirited, never letting the bad things get to her.

He hated her for making him think of Jane.


She was sitting near the cliff, a book in her hands. It had been donated to the orphanage. Allison liked reading muggle books. Tom hated her for that, too.

Allison folded down the corned of the book - another thing that made Tom hate her - and looked up. "Tom? What do you want?"

He cleared his throat. Her green eyes were too innocent for someone with a past like hers. Tom hated her for being so naive. "Would you like to go for a walk?"

Allison looked around. Mrs. Cole was scolding a group of the younger boys for going too close to the cliffs. She bit her lip and then stood up, brushing off her dress.

"I suppose a walk wouldn't hurt."

Tom hated her for trusting him. He hated her for following him. He hate hate hated her.

Allison, however, was all butterflies and rainbows inside. Since the first day she stepped inside Wool's Orphanage she had fancied that Tom Riddle. The Tom Riddle with the funny middle name. The Tom Riddle who killed her rabbit, who went away every year to a school far away. The Tom Riddle who never came 'round for the holidays, and who never, ever spoke to her.

Until that day. The pair walked along the slick path that wound down the cliff side. Tom considered pushing her over the edge, thinking of how easy it would be to off her right then and there. Be patient, Tom he told himself, a wicked smile on his face, she'll get what she deserves.

Tom and Allison had both turned seventeen that year. For Tom, that meant he was Of Age and could perform magic without his every spell being tracked by the Ministry. It meant that he could fully enjoy what he planned on doing without being caught.

"Tom, where are we going?" Allison asked as they reached the bottom of the cliff.

Tom hated that she asked so many questions. "You'll see soon enough."

"We shouldn't be long, Tom. Mrs. Cole said we're to be eating lunch soon."

He hated how much she listened. Leading her inside his cave, his lair, Tom drew his wand.

"What's that? Tom?"

"You ask so many questions." He said darkly, turning to face her. "I hate that about you. I hate your questions, your attentiveness. Your naivety and your innocence. I hate how you fold down the corners of your books- your stupid muggle books. I hate how you look in blue.

I hate how you always seem so happy. I hate how much you remind me of Jane. I hate how lively you are, how happy. I hate that we share a birthday. I hate your hair and your eyes. I hate everything about you. I hate you. I. Hate. You."

Allison took a step away from Tom, one arm held in front of her as if it could possibly protect her. Tom was seething, finally able to say what he had been wanting to say for years. Tears welled up in her eyes.

Tom liked her tears.

"I- I thought-"

"You don't think!" Tom's temper, his hatred for muggles, was boiling his blood. The curse was on the end of his tongue. Two simple words and it would all be over for her. "You muggles never think of anyone but yourselves!"

"What are you talking about? I think of other people!" Allison shrieked. "I think about Lily and Alec and Victoria. I- I think about you."

Tom blanched. What did she say? She thought about him? Possibly cared about him? That was too much for Tom to handle. He reminded himself that that was the exact reason why he wanted her to suffer. She cared too much. "Crucio!"

The curse hit Allison square in the chest. She screamed, collapsing on to the black rock, writhing in agony. Tom's eyes were alive with maddening fire. After several moments of relishing in her pure agony, he broke contact. Tears rolled down Allison's pink cheeks.

"Why?" She whispered, trying to prop herself up on one arm. Her head was bleeding from the impact with the rocks.

Tom sneered. "Because I wanted to. Ever since you stepped foot in that bloody orphanage eleven years ago, I've wanted to take all of your joy away. You were abandoned by your own family and you acted as though it had no effect on you at all!"

"Tom! I was six years old. I didn't understand. Do you even know why I was left here?" Allison sobbed, trying to stall.

"No. And I don't care. Avada Kedavra!"

(no subject)


That's right. This girl!

I kind of want to be a paleontologist now. Again.  This is the first time I've considered paleontology since I was eight or nine, when my lovelovelove of dinosaurs was replaced with my lovelovelove of architecture/home design (at which point I wanted to be either an architect or interior designer, until I realized that involves engineering and switched to Psychology)

I've been looking at colleges, though, and PSU and Ohio State are in the top ten colleges for Earth Sciences in the country, and they're relatively affordable (according to mom).

And now I'm seriously considering Paleontology. When in doubt, go with your first passion, right?

Writer's Block: Life in the boob tube

What fictional television show would you want to live in? What character would you play?




First, I would lovelovelove to be Ty Lee from Avatar. She's so pink ;3

Second, it'd be pretty cool to be Haruhi from Ouran Highschool Host Club. Cause she's got all of them guys~

Third, maybe like Timmy from Fairly Odd Parents. Cause he's got Fairy God Parents ;D

(no subject)

Started planning out my NaNoWriMo today. Characters, setting, the usual. Here's what I have;

Charlie Fey. 17. Ginger. Obsessive. Dragon Keeper.

Isabella Rose. 21. Black hair. Obnoxious. Dragon poacher and pirate.

Sten Rose. 19. Black hair. Compulsive. Dragon poacher and love interest.

It takes place in the land of Mons, starting in the mountainside village of Breakwater, which is Charlie's home. Charlie is the last Dragon Keeper in her village.  She was finishing her rounds in the caves with one of the trainee Keepers when they stumbled across a man trying to steal one of the younger dragons. The trainee ran off to get help and Charlie tried to fend off the poacher, but was the man stabbed her in the leg and escaped with the dragon.

Shamed, Charlie fled her village as soon as she was able for the Port of Atlan. It was there, in a seedy tavern, that she discovered the fate of her dragon. The same man who had stolen it was selling Dragonskin boots and gloves from the back room. Charlie confronted the man, and he coerced her into working for he and his partner, Isabella (who later is found out to be his sister)

And then an adventure happens, but I dunno what yet.